Two California couples raised each other’s kids after IVF mix-up - then swapped back

Five years after two couples discovered they were raising the other’s children as the result of a mishap at an IVF clinic in California, their lives have become one.

“There’s no person to give you advice. So we ended up just sort of huddling together, the four of us, and it’s a blessing that we all are on the same page,” Alexander Cardinale told the Daily Mail about the uniqueness of the couples’ situation. “We’ve spent every holiday together since then. We’ve spent every birthday together since then — and we’ve just kind of blended the families.”

In 2019, Daphna and Alexander Cardinale ordered a DNA test to confirm what they were already quietly suspecting: that their months-old daughter May wasn’t theirs. The DNA test confirmed their suspicions; the Los Angeles couple was raising someone else’s baby.

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The couple knew what they had to do: call the clinic. “It felt like a kidnapping,” Daphna told the New York Times. Unclear about what happened to their own embryos, the couple made the excruciating call, even though it could have meant losing May. Weeks later, the couple heard astonishing news: May’s biological parents lived just 10 minutes away — and they also were raising the Cardinales’ biological daughter, Zoe.

Dealt with an unbearable question — whether to keep the children or swap them — the parents agreed to switch the girls.

The transition period wasn’t easy. On top of dealing with an unimaginably complex set of emotions of their own, the parents also had to break the news to their older children, who had grown close to the baby girls.

The couple formalized the swap in court and plotted out how they could keep the families close.

Annie, May’s biological mother, texted Daphna: “We can definitely visit each and check how our girls are doing. It’s so hard. I don’t know how to let go.”

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Daphna replied: “What if we don’t ‘let go’? What if we just have 2 babies? We share them. We have to find a way to have both babies. Spend a lot of time together. Raise these girls together.”

“Yes, let’s raise them together,” Annie replied. “Let’s have two babies.”

In the five years since, that’s what they’ve done.

The families have blended into one. The couples have been working together to raise the girls while the girls consider each other sisters. The families celebrate holidays together, the kids attend the same pre-school, and the parents coordinate school pick-up and drop-off.

Alexander and Daphna had sued the fertility clinic in the aftermath of the mix-up. But ultimately they decided to settle the case, namely to avoid forcing their older daughter to testify in court, the Times reported.

The girls are very close, the outlet noted, but this year marks the first time they will be attending different schools. But to ensure they still see each other regularly, the parents have arranged for the kids to attend ballet classes every Sunday.

On her first day of school, May drew a picture that she wanted to give to Daphna. The five-year-old gave “Mama Daphna,” as she calls her, an illustration of a woman with red hair, like Daphna’s, and a pregnant belly.

Annie surmised the drawing was of Daphna and appeared in awe of how the young girls were adjusting. She told the Times: “They’re still working it out.”